Middle Names

My sister just sent me a survey about Middle Names last year and I just got another one yesterday but, what if you don't have a middle name, like me? Huh does that mean that I can put any answer down that I want, or does that mean that I can't participate. I think I've been gypped. I want retribution. Halloween is over and I missed it. Oh wait it's almost Christmas.




Merry Christmas Charlie Brown.



Hark the harold angles sing....

Where is the Funny Farm?

Where is the Funny Farm I have looked it up and the Funny farm can refer to:


• Funny farm, a pejorative slang term for a psychiatric hospital

• By extension, pejorative slang for many workplaces which are perceived to be dysfunctional

I have yet to find a Psychiatric hospital that is named the funny farm. I there for can not pay my sister her just rewards for her suggestion. Unless she works for a comedy club I have no idea where the Funny Farm is.

I have many bills which have been accumulated in the production of my at home do it yourself shock treatment. (No takers yet). So if she should get a check for 20% of the profits, shouldn’t she also get 80% of the Bills? I am not the best at Math, but I like the numbers and they look good to me. “I can be a bit dyslexic” aren’t we all.

Hey there is something that needs an invention, no not an invention a TV commercial! Dyslexic people need your help more then ever. Thousands and thousands of Americans are Dyslexic only your donations can help so please be generous. Just think thousands of dyslexic Americans and only you can help make a difference in a Dyslexic person’s life just think no longer being hungry, dirty, need new cars or letters switched around. There lives will be much better but only you can help. Send your pledges to 1-800-Dys-lexi ext: a .
Stay tuned for a new plot to thincken in our next exciting episode of four for the show or two pairs of plants.

Self Medication vs Shock Treatment

My sister, after reading my latest and greatest article, wrote that instead of self-medication I should consider Shock Treatment. Well after careful consideration I have come to the conclusion that perhaps she is correct and that I do need shock treatment.

Well after I did some research and found out the price of Shock Treatment I have begun to consider an alternative coarse of action. I am now looking into ways to build my own Home Shock Treatment Kit.

So here it is from the company that brought you the George Forman Grill and the Epilady well here you have it now "The do it your-self happy kit". What it really is is one of those home hair removal machines hooked up to a car battery. Of course this is still in its testing stages but it could be yours for the one time low, low, price of 29 payments of $199.99. Order now and you will receive a second kit free, you only pay the shipping and handling. Call now at 1-800-SHOCK-IT.

A Simpler Time

Do you recall a simpler time when cartoons were just some cat and mouse chasing each other around endlessly. Or the Moose and Squirrel that always were trapped someway and you would get this line like: Bullwinkle: Well this is a pickle...actually its more of a kumquat. What is this world coming to.

Warning

Warning: (You must understand that to think about things like this and understand by understand them I mean you must be a little touched in the head to understand them.)




Here is what you have all been waiting for, with as my sisters so eloquently put it, with baited breath. In our last breath taking edition our editor gave you her thoughts on Urinal Cakes, lets see what her warped mind has come up with this time, in the compelling saga of a Girl and her toes.



When last we left our heroin she was contemplating the warning labels on Urinal Cakes. As I sit on my chair I look at my toes and I think why do people paint their toenails. Don't get me wrong I like having my toenails painted. But why do we do it? There is no reason to do it. It does not help you lose weight, breath or help your heart to beat. So why do we do it? Is it an unnatural obsession with paint? What is this insatiable urge that we have to color our nails. The world may never know.



Stay tuned for our next compelling adventure: Moose and Squirrel the real story

March

You know the old saying March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb? Well here in Wisconsin it has come in like a lion and is going out that way as well. We did have a couple of nice days in the middle so I soupose that could be the lamb part, but I think it was eaten by on of the lions. So here we are with two lion's in the month of March. I hope they don't get into a fight or maybe they already did and that is why the month did not go out like a lamb.

Happy Cesar Chavez Day.

Voodoo Chicken Queen

My sister Heather has been sending me chicken after chicken on my farm. So I have knighted her Voodoo Chicken Queen. So let’s send her lots and lots of chicken. All hail Heather the Voodoo Chicken Queen. Now all she needs is her royal cloak, which will be some chicken wire with paper flowers on it. (You know like from a float from a parade), her royal scepter will be a bedazzled chicken leg and her crown will be a KFC bucket turned upside down. She will also need her royal jewels, which I believe will be some chicken bones. All hail Heather, The Voodoo Chicken Queen. (Everyone should back away slowly genuflecting)